We have a bookshelf now. It holds my stuff, [currently a lot less of] his stuff, precious memories, touches of whimsy, and some awkward reminders of life yet unlived.

I brought a lot of writing (and drawing) craft books from California to my erstwhile home in Illinois, and I’ve since toted them to my (our!) new home in Maryland. However, I’m embarrassed to admit that I have not really delved into most of them at all. They sit, looking pretty, making me feel like maybe I’ll become the writer and artist I’m supposed to be someday, because at least I’ve made a start with these tepid gestures of intent.

But that’s not enough.

Earlier this month, we took a trip to the American Museum of Natural History when it was open after dark. There, in a humble corner case, rests a glimmer of the origins of the universe.

Our universe is marvelous, vast, a gift beyond our comprehension or capacity to repay it. We are made of stardust—born to shine—but only here for a short while.

Today, I found a thought-provoking, helpful blog post about self-sabotage (i.e., getting in our own way) that discusses the problem and possible solutions from a positive psychology perspective. I encourage you to read it (and explore the included videos and other resources) and consider how internal resistance may have kept you from doing what you love (e.g., writing or drawing) up until now—and how to fight back.

Please remember, though, my dears, that you are worth so much more than your productivity at any given time. You don’t have to wring forward motion out of every moment of your life. You are stardust, and you matter just by being here. Don’t ever lose sight of your sparkle.

I am getting ready to say goodbye again.

Goodbye to Decatur, Illinois. Goodbye to Lake Decatur and its beauty in every season.

Goodbye to my first studio apartment.

Goodbye to Scovill Zoo and friends like Niko, Seamus, and the Humboldt penguins. Goodbye to my thirty-third birthday with my family, which will never happen again.

As always, this goodbye gives me the chance to say hello. Hello to the unmet future being worked in God’s hands like clay. Hello to a new place, new faces, new adventures. Hello to starting and finishing more stories. Hello to my beloved, to whom I am finally coming home.

The universe never fails to surprise and delight us. Keep your mind and heart open, hold onto things only lightly, and keep moving. We’re all in this together.

Goodbye. Hello.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that peafowl in possession of imperious splendor, must be in want of chickens.

The flashy flock of peafowl roam freely throughout our zoo. They could spend their days gawking at the raw power of pumas, attempting to catch a ride on a camel or zebra, or even marveling at the amphibious whimsy of penguins.

But where I find the peafowl most often is here: gazing, transfixed, through the mesh of one of two chicken coops, like awestruck guests at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Are they hoping, perhaps, to catch a rakish rooster’s eye? Do they feel a flutter in their feathers whenever that brusque bantam hen turns her head? Do they envy the chickens their eggs, their homey clucks and head-down struts…or, against all odds, their captivity?

What are they seeking here, in this space between worlds? What do you think?

You never know where life is going to take you.

Maybe a phrase you overhear in the weird pizzeria you visit because your first pick was closed will lead you to an idea, which will lead you to a novel, which will lead you to a book tour, which will lead you to a little girl in a wheelchair, whose hope for the future brings yours back blazing like a bonfire.

Maybe a flight delay will lead you to a conversation, which will lead you to a pool party in Las Vegas, which will lead you to wedding photographs at a rose garden in the springtime, your face flushed pink as petals as he holds your hand on the edge of forever.

Maybe a car accident will lead you to prayer, which will lead you to church, which will lead you abroad, which will lead you to another hospital, which will lead you to more prayer, which will lead you, after a lifetime of searching, to the creator of godwits and ankles and canyons and cosmos, a love worth dying for.

You never know where life is going to take you. So don’t stop traveling now.

Happy New Year! How is 2026 treating you? If you’re like me, you started the year with lofty (but ill-defined) ambitions, then hit a brick wall and sank into despair after failing to reach those heights every day.

I have good news for you, though. My counselor gifted me a sentence yesterday that I feel called to share here with you:

“My worth does not rise or fall on anything I do or don’t do.”

I invite you to read that again. And again. To repeat it out loud to yourself. Maybe to write it out by hand and tape it somewhere you will often see it.

“My worth does not rise or fall on anything I do or don’t do.”

Your worth is not defined by your successes or failures. Your worth is not defined by how others perceive you. Your worth is not defined by your circumstances.

You are worthy and lovable, just as you are.

This year, I hope you treat yourself with patience and kindness, whether you achieve your initial resolutions or have to recalibrate…or whether you’ve made resolutions at all. Being yourself is more than enough. May you embrace this truth with your whole heart.

I am so glad we are sharing this planet. Thank you for being here, now…just as you are.

Today is the last day of 2025.

How was your year? What are your dreams for the next one?

In 2025, I accomplished a few simple goals I set for myself early on: to post on this blog at least once a month, to read at least one full-length book a month (I know, I know. I need to read lots more than that! I used to! Easing myself back into it…), and to get a new piece of writing published (the story in question won the story of the week award that week!).

I spent a few months as a camp counselor at SeaWorld San Diego, introducing kids to dolphins and other marine creatures and having a splash-tastic time. Afterwards, I started the zookeeping apprenticeship I’m currently doing in the Midwest, interacting with and learning about all kinds of special animals.

Next year, my second game from Choice of Games is coming out (Hero of Hoofbeat Hollow!). I’ll be on the hunt for a new wildlife-related job after my zoo apprenticeship ends. As usual, I have no idea where the road will take me. And that’s an exciting thought!

What are my goals for 2026? Here are some. I’m going to write more, because a new friend I met at the San Francisco International Airport and I pinkie promised each other that we both would (holding you to it, P.!). I’m also going to work on being kinder to myself.

My main aspiration, though, is to walk in the ways of this precious prayer:

As the motto of my birth state, Wisconsin, proclaims so proudly…FORWARD!

Have a happy New Year, everyone! 🎆